To the parents of Landon: Your family is nuts!

So we’ve finally made it to that next step…the school years. I can’t lie, I’m mostly terrified and only a little bit excited. I can’t help it! My baby is growing up so fast! I’m also terrified for what he’s going to SAY at school. I’m now starting to realize that maybe all of the joking around we do in this house may not have been the best idea, especially now that he repeats EVERYTHING to people. I wonder how long it will take before I get that note home in his backpack saying: “To the parents of Landon: You guys are FREAKS!” I can’t argue with that. So maybe I should have started to “normal up” a year or five earlier. Whatev. We just like to have fun.

So I’ve started to compile a list of things Landon might tell his teacher which would cause some concern.

Weird Things Landon May Tell His Teacher

1. “Most mornings while we’re getting ready, mommy comes downstairs without pants while I’m watching Octonauts and dances across the living room to the Creature Report.”

In my defense: I really don’t like wearing pants so that step of getting dressed is saved until it’s absolutely necessary.  Don’t judge.

2. “Mommy takes shots everyday on the couch.”

In my defense: In this case, the teacher may not know whether I’m drinking or shooting up, but either way, she would probably be concerned. Fortunately, I have the prescriptions on hand. Whew!

3. “What do you mean God made the Earth? Daddy said it was aliens.”

In his defense: Wait for it…wait for it…well, who doesn’t like a joke every now and then? Luckily, Landon asked again the other day and I told him that God made the Earth. Unfortunately, his next question was “Who is that?” So maybe we should have gone more in depth with the God discussion. I thought his Thank You God book would do the trick. Apparently a 10 page book doesn’t quite work, but now we’re really honing in on that. Whew again!

4. “My papa has a knife in his cane, which he lets me play with.”

In his defense: Papa is a unique individual with a habit of getting completely unnecessary things. Landon plays with the cane, not the knife.

5. Teacher: “Now class, take out your markers and glue.” Landon: “Whatevs.”

In our defense: I guess there’s really no defense in this case. We probably shouldn’t have taught him to say whatevs to people, but it’s kind of funny.

School starts August 20! Wish us luck!

Are you there, Mandy? It’s me…your blog.

So…it’s been quite awhile since my last blog. Ooops! I’ve been computer-less for awhile and, well, a little lazy  unmotivated. Sometimes I can’t believe how fast the time flies or how busy we get. So here’s a mini-update:

Ty is getting is Associate’s Degree this month. He has never been a school-type-person so I honestly never thought this would happen. I think that actually makes me 10,000 times more proud of him. He is starting his Bachelor’s program at RMCAD in August. That should take about two years, but it will definitely be worth it in the long run. Besides being busy with homework every weekend, he has been working tons of hours at Tervis, as well as his normal job of being a super-freaking-awesome dad.

I am always giving Ty weekend constant annoying jobs to do around the house and the yard. He rarely complains…to me. #I’mSoLucky We recently started painting the house. I painted the bathroom while Ty was at work one day a few weeks ago and now it has turned into a paint project. I don’t have any pictures now…those will have to come later.

Tropical Storm Debby rolled through our area last weekend. That B just wouldn’t give up! Extra wind and rain = mid-afternoon vodka and cranberries and an early at-home happy hour. Luckily we didn’t have too much damage from wind or rain in our area, but it sure made for a LONG weekend indoors. The only thing that was damaged (besides my liver) was Landon’s canopy on his swing set.

Going backward a bit: Landon had surgery at All Children’s Hospital in St. Pete the Friday before Memorial Day. He was such a trooper! He was feeling much better later that day and back to normal within the week. I can’t believe how brave my son is!

And later that day:

Landon is starting preschool on August 20. I’m so excited for him and sad devastated for me. I still feel like he was just born. He’ll always be my little baby, but I know it’s time for him to venture out a bit. I’m sure he will love it! He is growing up so fast. He can read and is starting to write MUCH more legibly. He is getting more and more independent by the day. Sometimes it drives me insane, but then I stop and remind myself that it is a good thing that he wants to be independent…at least that’s what gets me through some of those wonderful talking-back-to-mommy spells.

I suppose that’s all for now. I’ll be back. And not in six months.

But I swear he’s a genius!

Does your kid always pick the right wrong time to…become mute and make you look like a liar? It’s like, I spend most of my time at work bragging about how awesome my son is and how much of a genius I have on my hands and then he just makes ME look like the nutcase! (I know, I know. I’m THAT mom, but hell, I gave birth to him so I deserve to talk about him even when people don’t care, right?!?!). So instead of focusing on work like I should be during the day, I spend most of the day annoying my co-workers about my ultra-smart child. I probably deserve to look like a liar for making everyone cringe when I talk about him constantly, because when he comes to visit mommy at work, he becomes the non-talkative, speech deprived child that seems to be about two years behind what he should be. Thanks Landon!

I really shouldn’t complain though. I could have one of those monster children that runs around the office like a lunatic. It’s always really awkward when someone brings their completely rambunctious and out-of-control kid in. Let the judging begin! Everyone makes eye contact with one another and we all know what everyone is thinking…”Better her than me!” It sounds awful, but it’s at that moment when you know everyone feels a little bit better about themselves. Nothing like using someone else’s misery to feel a bit accomplished for the day.

So anyway, as you may have guessed, my name is Mandy and I’m a mom…“Hi, Mandy”. I have an absolutely amazing little boy named Landon and a just as amazing husband, Tyler. We may be “livin’ la vida loca” sometimes, but honestly, I wouldn’t want it any other way. Our house can get a bit hectic at times, but that may have something to do with the zoo we have along with our three soon-to-be four-year-old boy. We have two Shih-Tzu dogs, Rocco (6) and Olivia (1), a long-haired cat, Fluffy (7-ish), a female cockatiel, Batman (2), and a new 29 gallon fish tank. What were we thinking?

So if you love animals and have a crazy little life, follow my blog. We should have a lot of fun!